After working in real estate and land development for over twenty years, Elliott Geskin left behind the corporate world to pursue a career as a relationship coach. After putting in hundreds of practicum hours, Elliott received his official coaching designation and is now helping couples across the province mend their relationships at the Art of Strategy, where his wife, Alison, consults with local business owners. Alison also facilitates PARK Mastermind and is a keynote speaker at PARKFORUM. Our last PARKFORUM session focused on the importance of life and work balance for entrepreneurs, which included how to make much needed time for relationships! To continue the discussion about mental health and juggling interpersonal relationships on top of a more than full-time workload, we sat down with Elliott to hear his perspective.

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Why did you decide to pursue a career as a relationship coach?

I am at the age where a lot of my friends are on wife number three, and they are now just learning that it’s not always greener on the other side. Things go wrong in our lives, it’s unavoidable. There are hurt feelings, financial issues, parenting problems…an endless list, but that doesn’t mean a couple has to throw in the towel. I believe every couple dealing with relationship stresses should seeking relationship coaching first. Even if these issues can’t be resolved, at least you both know you tried your hardest. I guess relationship coaching is just in my roots. I’ve been married for twenty-eight years to a wonderful person. We’ve gone through countless ups and downs, but it’s all given me insider knowledge on how to make it through to the other side. I hear a lot of problems from couples that are totally fixable, but you have to be willing to do the work.

How would you describe your approach to coaching?

My approach to coaching is a combination of holistic coaching and my own personal experience. I believe that they both tie together, and you have to approach every aspect of a person’s life — body, mind, and spirit — to really get to the root of their problems. I am also completely partial to all situations and always let the client take the lead. I’ll make a few suggestions but you have to do the work yourself.

What do you love most about coaching?

I love meeting different people, learning about their lives, and watching them grow as we go through the process of coaching. You don’t see immediate results. It usually takes five sessions before you start to notice changes, but it’s amazing how you can take someone who is totally unhappy with their life and guide them down a path where they can achieve their goals. One of my favourite parts of coaching is watching someone’s confidence increase, and seeing a couple work through their issues together. It’s almost like seeing people fall in love all over again.

What is one of the most common issues in a long-term relationship?

One of the key ways to keep a relationship thriving is to understand your partner’s love language. A lot of the time it is totally different than what you think it is. It took me a while to discover my partner’s love language and what makes her truly happy. It turns out that it was the complete opposite of what I thought. I think people also forget that life becomes routine, including the way we engage with one another, so it’s important to know what makes your partner feel special and valued.

You are launching your own bi-weekly newsletter. Why did you decide to pursue this project and what do you hope to achieve?

I want more people to know that it’s common to struggle in a relationship and there are ways to get through it. There are no mandatory classes on how to be a good partner or how to foster healthy relationships. It’s trial and error. If you grow up in a toxic environment or you don’t experience thriving relationships first-hand, then how are you supposed to know the difference between a partnership that works and one that doesn’t? I want to see more happy people and couples, and spread the word that coaching, whether on a one-on-one basis or with your partner, can help you get to where you want to be.

What can readers expect by joining your mailing list?

They can expect motivational quotes, articles, guides, and also Q&A’s. If you have a question, write me! Let’s have a conversation — your first session with me is always free.

Stay connected @elliottgeskin

You can listen to more of Elliott’s story on the second episode of the Art of Strategy Podcast!